Hey.
So I think I mentioned once upon a time that I have severe anxiety and depression? Well, it really flared up in January and I missed about 6 weeks of work.
But what I was able to do, for better or worse, was watch a lot of WWE.
Shockingly, Raw has actually been pretty watchable the last three or four weeks. I'm liking what they're doing with some of the stars, I've enjoyed a fair amount of the matches, and some of the stories are clicking. It's still has a lot of garbage, but sometimes it has produced something worth watching and getting somewhat invested in. Smackdown is a garbage fire right now and it might turn around after the Blood Money Saudi show and Elimination Chamber, but I doubt it.
But as always, NXT is still where it's at. I did attend a house show here in the PHX recently and it was so goddamn fun. Got some really entertaining matches, and this was the Friday after the episode when Velveteen Dream came back from injury, so while we didn't get a match, we did get an appearance. But we got to see #DIY against Fish and O'Reilly (this was, of course, prior to Johnny turning on Ciampa), Ripley vs Belair, Keith Muthafuckin' Lee vs Damian Priest (and of course Priest got yeeted). And TakeOver Portland... holy shit that was a phenomenal show. And we've got stories coming out of that event, which is why NXT is still the best thing on TV. But that's not what's on tap here.
We're here to talk about the 36th "Showcase of the Immortals" and how this is potentially going to be one of the worst Manias since 31.
Let's look at the matches that have already been set up:
For the Raw Women's title, we had a totally useless Elimination Chamber match where Shayna Baszler came out on top of Natalya, the three former members of the Riott Squad, and Asuka and we were supposed to sit there and pretend that Shayna wasn't going to win this. So it's Shayna vs Becky for the title. Last year, I couldn't wait for Becky's ascent to the top of the card after the 12 months she'd had. Now she's a little too cool for school (and part of that is her character work), and Shayna was introduced very poorly onto the "main roster" so I'm just not as up for this match as I normally would be.
For the Universal Title, we have Bill Fucking Goldberg against Roman Reigns after Vince made the colossal error of having Goldberg take the title off the supposedly-unbeatable Fiend Bray Wyatt at Super Blood Money. How did this match for supposedly the most prestigious title in WWE come together, you might ask? Through a brutal gauntlet match? By a death-defying performance in Elimination Chamber? Nope. Not even a little bit. Goldberg asked, "Who's next?!?!?!?" on a promo during Smackdown, and Roman came out and said, "I'm next." About 10 minutes later, it was announced on that episode that match had been made official for Mania. No drama, no conflict, no nothing. Remember how people have treated Roman since his return from being in remission? Well, you can kiss a lot of that goodbye as we're going back to Vince booking Roman like he's the Second Coming and people are going to start really booing him again. It's not going to be pretty.
For the winner of the Women's Royal Rumble this year, they've decided to, after far too long, have a NXT championship defended at Mania because Charlotte Flair will be taking on NXT champ Rhea Ripley. So far, this has been a good feud for the most part. But I'm not going to put it past them to somehow turn this into a triple threat including Bianca Belair because of what Charlotte has done to her on NXT. I'm hoping they don't and that Bianca shows up on a post-Mania Raw and beats the living shit out of Charlotte because I do see a call-up for Bianca so that her and Montez Ford can travel together.
Then of course we have the winner of the Men's Royal Rumble, Drew McIntyre, taking on Brock Lesnar for the WWE Championship. This is literally the only match so far that I'm hyped for because I want Drew to Claymore Kick Lesnar about 800 times and get that title back to establish a new superstar and the defending champ being someone who's on weekly TV.
Then there's the grudge match between The Fiend and John Cena. From a "looking to the past" point of view, this match makes sense in the broadest possible sense. Wyatt was fed to Cena at Mania XXX, so it makes sense that The Fiend would want this match. But the way they went about it just... well, it just fucking sucked so hard. Cena comes out on Smackdown to announce to the world that he's not going to be at Mania this year because he wants the focus to be on the younger superstars rather than him. This made sense. Cena's a legit good dude, and him wanting to have the focus put on the people that are there full-time makes all the logical sense in the world. However, when he made his way to the back, the lights went all wonky and then behind him was The Fiend, and The Fiend did the one thing that The Fiend would never ever ever ever ever do: he pointed to the Wrestlemania sign. Then Cena, who just spent the previous several minutes espousing the virtues of the full-timers and the younger talent, did a simple tip of his cap to The Fiend and the match was made official. It wasn't like The Fiend pulled his usual sneak-attack on another legend and then Cena came out hot the next week on Smackdown and said "I know what I said, but THIS CANNOT STAND and I must face The Fiend at Mania". It was just the freakiest character in WWE pointing at a sign and Cena tipping a cap. That's just absolute dogshit and I hate everything about it.
And... that's it. We're at 4 weeks until Mania, and we have two grudge matches and three title matches confirmed. Aside from that, all we have are rumored and/or pretty much guaranteed matches. The one match that is definitely going to happen is Edge vs Randy Orton. This has been one of the best feuds of the year despite it basically being almost entirely handled by one man, and that's Randy. I'm quick to berate The Viper when he clearly doesn't give a flying fuck about what storyline he's involved in, but I am also quick to celebrate when he has a rivalry that is straight-up hot, and this is definitely one of the latter. And there's a twisted, fucked-up psychology to his reasoning and that's the kind of shit that I really get into. In his head, trying to end Edge's career again to protect him from people who don't love him like he does is a heroic thing. So I'm here for all that complex psychology stuff and I'm pretty hyped for this match as well.
Another match that is going to happen but might not happen in the way we expect is going to be Undertaker vs A.J. Styles. This is another match that shouldn't happen now but might have been kind of impressive six or seven years ago. Having to watch Styles carry the whole match (like he's been asked to twice now; the first time to Shane McMahon back in Mania 33) will be sad, and as much as Vince is willing to pay Mark to keep putting on that hat and coat, we have to know he should be hanging it up soon. The wild card here is the finish from Elimination Chamber with A.J.'s match against Aleister Black, where the O.C. got involved and then so did Undertaker. So I can see this becoming a tag match. If I were booking it, I'd have it be a 3-on-2 tag match where Taker and Black get over and Black puts Aleister over by some kind of salute or acknowledgement that he's basically the new Undertaker and leaves and never comes back. But that's really unlikely. Vince is going to milk Taker for all that he can.
Another one that's just bound to happen is Seth Rollins vs Kevin Owens. It kind of has to at this point. Seth's doing good work with the whole "Monday Night Messiah" angle and KO is super over so this feud needs to end at Mania.
So let's recklessly speculate on the rest of the matches.
Women's Tag Team titles: I want it to be Kabuki Warriors vs a returning Iiconics. I don't know the status of Peyton or Billie, but that would be really fun. As it stands, it's probably going to be Alexa and Nikki since they're the only other women's tag team that has any merch. What should happen here is that Alexa and Nikki win, causing an immediate fallout where Asuka turns on Kairi and lays her out, and that begins Kairi back on a babyface run where her and Asuka eventually face off at Summerslam.
Raw Tag Team titles: Street Profits are the current champs. Seth Rollins and BUDDY Murphy just had their rematch for the titles at Elimination Chamber and lost again, so as far as who we see... I don't think it's going to be Viking Raiders and don't see Ryder and Hawkins and don't see Gallows and Anderson. It'll probably be AOP.
Smackdown Tag Team titles: I'm sorry, but who has these again? Miz and John Morrison? Is that right? The match that would have made the most sense with the story they're telling (and potentially still might) is Ziggler and Roode winning the titles at Elimination Chamber and then getting them against Heavy Machinery. This could still end up being a triple threat with those three teams and Heavy Machinery getting the pin on Ziggler in order to win and then Mandy gives Otis a very chaste kiss. A happy ending for everyone.
Intercontinental title: Sami Motherfucking Zayn is our current IC champ, and I love that he has a title for the first time in FIVE YEARS no matter how it happened. As far as his opponent, it could certainly be Braun Strowman, but I'd rather his running crew of Cesaro and Nakamura vie to take it from him. It's probably going to be Strowman, though. And this is likely to be a pre-show match.
United States title: Andrade is the current champ, and he's been dealing with the likes of Rey Mysterio and Humberto Carrillo, but what I'm really hoping to see is Angel Garza as his opponent. They've been on the same side for a while, but by making either Garza or Andrade an even bigger heel could make for a much more interesting match.
Smackdown Women's title: Bayley is the titleholder right now, but despite her sisterhood with Sasha Banks, I can certainly see Bayley and Sasha duking it out for the title at Mania. It's the culmination of everything that should already have happened in the last few years.
Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal: This is going to have all the Sheamuses and Crewses and 24/7 contenders and Mustafa Ali's and Dallases and Ricochets; if he doesn't have a singles Grudge Match, this is likely where we'll see King Corbin and Shorty G be the final two and Shorty G be the winner.
Women'sUterus Trophy Battle Royal: This should be a lot more important, but it just isn't. This is basically going to be everyone who isn't one of the Four Horsewomen, or current title holder or contender will wind up. Liv Morgan or Lacey Evans will probably win, but really, this means nothing. Neither this nor the Andre winner have gone on to great things. Prior to this, it's been Naomi and Carmella. Seriously, this is something we should care about in some way, but I don't.
Grudge Matches still have some opportunities to be set in the next couple of weeks, but I don't know what else could get anyone invested. Since Rusev seems to be on his way out, I don't think (and I pray) that we don't see another Rusev/Lashley match. Another potential, which I want to have happen but don't think it will is to reveal that it was Sonya Deville who sent the fake text to Otis about Mandy running late, Mandy discovers this and this leads to the break-up of Fire and Desire and we have a babyface Mandy vs a heel Sonya. I don't know, sadly, where Daniel Bryan falls on this card, because he's Daniel Goddamn Bryan and he deserves to have a Mania match. If Corbin doesn't end up in the Andre match, I could see him starting some shit with D-Bry on Smackdown in order to have some kind of match between those two since they've spent so much time with Corbin since Mania last year for him to end up in a multi-man match. And Bryan can make anyone look good; even Corbin.
The bottom line is this: the only titles that feel important right now are by the virtue of those carrying them or the people slated to fight them. That's the Raw Women's title, the WWE title, the NXT Women's title and that's it. As far as the Grudge Match angles, the only one that makes sense and has a solid story and has two guys willing to rip each other's fucking heads off is Edge and Orton, so I'm pumped for that contest.
So yeah, this is a pretty unremarkable year so far. There are a few matches I'm looking forward to, but overall, I couldn't care less. But they have three weeks to change my mind. So this could be another bloated and meaningless affair, or it could be low-key pretty good.
Hey, stranger things have happened.
We're here to talk about the 36th "Showcase of the Immortals" and how this is potentially going to be one of the worst Manias since 31.
Let's look at the matches that have already been set up:
For the Raw Women's title, we had a totally useless Elimination Chamber match where Shayna Baszler came out on top of Natalya, the three former members of the Riott Squad, and Asuka and we were supposed to sit there and pretend that Shayna wasn't going to win this. So it's Shayna vs Becky for the title. Last year, I couldn't wait for Becky's ascent to the top of the card after the 12 months she'd had. Now she's a little too cool for school (and part of that is her character work), and Shayna was introduced very poorly onto the "main roster" so I'm just not as up for this match as I normally would be.
For the Universal Title, we have Bill Fucking Goldberg against Roman Reigns after Vince made the colossal error of having Goldberg take the title off the supposedly-unbeatable Fiend Bray Wyatt at Super Blood Money. How did this match for supposedly the most prestigious title in WWE come together, you might ask? Through a brutal gauntlet match? By a death-defying performance in Elimination Chamber? Nope. Not even a little bit. Goldberg asked, "Who's next?!?!?!?" on a promo during Smackdown, and Roman came out and said, "I'm next." About 10 minutes later, it was announced on that episode that match had been made official for Mania. No drama, no conflict, no nothing. Remember how people have treated Roman since his return from being in remission? Well, you can kiss a lot of that goodbye as we're going back to Vince booking Roman like he's the Second Coming and people are going to start really booing him again. It's not going to be pretty.
For the winner of the Women's Royal Rumble this year, they've decided to, after far too long, have a NXT championship defended at Mania because Charlotte Flair will be taking on NXT champ Rhea Ripley. So far, this has been a good feud for the most part. But I'm not going to put it past them to somehow turn this into a triple threat including Bianca Belair because of what Charlotte has done to her on NXT. I'm hoping they don't and that Bianca shows up on a post-Mania Raw and beats the living shit out of Charlotte because I do see a call-up for Bianca so that her and Montez Ford can travel together.
Then of course we have the winner of the Men's Royal Rumble, Drew McIntyre, taking on Brock Lesnar for the WWE Championship. This is literally the only match so far that I'm hyped for because I want Drew to Claymore Kick Lesnar about 800 times and get that title back to establish a new superstar and the defending champ being someone who's on weekly TV.
Then there's the grudge match between The Fiend and John Cena. From a "looking to the past" point of view, this match makes sense in the broadest possible sense. Wyatt was fed to Cena at Mania XXX, so it makes sense that The Fiend would want this match. But the way they went about it just... well, it just fucking sucked so hard. Cena comes out on Smackdown to announce to the world that he's not going to be at Mania this year because he wants the focus to be on the younger superstars rather than him. This made sense. Cena's a legit good dude, and him wanting to have the focus put on the people that are there full-time makes all the logical sense in the world. However, when he made his way to the back, the lights went all wonky and then behind him was The Fiend, and The Fiend did the one thing that The Fiend would never ever ever ever ever do: he pointed to the Wrestlemania sign. Then Cena, who just spent the previous several minutes espousing the virtues of the full-timers and the younger talent, did a simple tip of his cap to The Fiend and the match was made official. It wasn't like The Fiend pulled his usual sneak-attack on another legend and then Cena came out hot the next week on Smackdown and said "I know what I said, but THIS CANNOT STAND and I must face The Fiend at Mania". It was just the freakiest character in WWE pointing at a sign and Cena tipping a cap. That's just absolute dogshit and I hate everything about it.
And... that's it. We're at 4 weeks until Mania, and we have two grudge matches and three title matches confirmed. Aside from that, all we have are rumored and/or pretty much guaranteed matches. The one match that is definitely going to happen is Edge vs Randy Orton. This has been one of the best feuds of the year despite it basically being almost entirely handled by one man, and that's Randy. I'm quick to berate The Viper when he clearly doesn't give a flying fuck about what storyline he's involved in, but I am also quick to celebrate when he has a rivalry that is straight-up hot, and this is definitely one of the latter. And there's a twisted, fucked-up psychology to his reasoning and that's the kind of shit that I really get into. In his head, trying to end Edge's career again to protect him from people who don't love him like he does is a heroic thing. So I'm here for all that complex psychology stuff and I'm pretty hyped for this match as well.
Another match that is going to happen but might not happen in the way we expect is going to be Undertaker vs A.J. Styles. This is another match that shouldn't happen now but might have been kind of impressive six or seven years ago. Having to watch Styles carry the whole match (like he's been asked to twice now; the first time to Shane McMahon back in Mania 33) will be sad, and as much as Vince is willing to pay Mark to keep putting on that hat and coat, we have to know he should be hanging it up soon. The wild card here is the finish from Elimination Chamber with A.J.'s match against Aleister Black, where the O.C. got involved and then so did Undertaker. So I can see this becoming a tag match. If I were booking it, I'd have it be a 3-on-2 tag match where Taker and Black get over and Black puts Aleister over by some kind of salute or acknowledgement that he's basically the new Undertaker and leaves and never comes back. But that's really unlikely. Vince is going to milk Taker for all that he can.
Another one that's just bound to happen is Seth Rollins vs Kevin Owens. It kind of has to at this point. Seth's doing good work with the whole "Monday Night Messiah" angle and KO is super over so this feud needs to end at Mania.
So let's recklessly speculate on the rest of the matches.
Women's Tag Team titles: I want it to be Kabuki Warriors vs a returning Iiconics. I don't know the status of Peyton or Billie, but that would be really fun. As it stands, it's probably going to be Alexa and Nikki since they're the only other women's tag team that has any merch. What should happen here is that Alexa and Nikki win, causing an immediate fallout where Asuka turns on Kairi and lays her out, and that begins Kairi back on a babyface run where her and Asuka eventually face off at Summerslam.
Raw Tag Team titles: Street Profits are the current champs. Seth Rollins and BUDDY Murphy just had their rematch for the titles at Elimination Chamber and lost again, so as far as who we see... I don't think it's going to be Viking Raiders and don't see Ryder and Hawkins and don't see Gallows and Anderson. It'll probably be AOP.
Smackdown Tag Team titles: I'm sorry, but who has these again? Miz and John Morrison? Is that right? The match that would have made the most sense with the story they're telling (and potentially still might) is Ziggler and Roode winning the titles at Elimination Chamber and then getting them against Heavy Machinery. This could still end up being a triple threat with those three teams and Heavy Machinery getting the pin on Ziggler in order to win and then Mandy gives Otis a very chaste kiss. A happy ending for everyone.
Intercontinental title: Sami Motherfucking Zayn is our current IC champ, and I love that he has a title for the first time in FIVE YEARS no matter how it happened. As far as his opponent, it could certainly be Braun Strowman, but I'd rather his running crew of Cesaro and Nakamura vie to take it from him. It's probably going to be Strowman, though. And this is likely to be a pre-show match.
United States title: Andrade is the current champ, and he's been dealing with the likes of Rey Mysterio and Humberto Carrillo, but what I'm really hoping to see is Angel Garza as his opponent. They've been on the same side for a while, but by making either Garza or Andrade an even bigger heel could make for a much more interesting match.
Smackdown Women's title: Bayley is the titleholder right now, but despite her sisterhood with Sasha Banks, I can certainly see Bayley and Sasha duking it out for the title at Mania. It's the culmination of everything that should already have happened in the last few years.
Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal: This is going to have all the Sheamuses and Crewses and 24/7 contenders and Mustafa Ali's and Dallases and Ricochets; if he doesn't have a singles Grudge Match, this is likely where we'll see King Corbin and Shorty G be the final two and Shorty G be the winner.
Women's
Grudge Matches still have some opportunities to be set in the next couple of weeks, but I don't know what else could get anyone invested. Since Rusev seems to be on his way out, I don't think (and I pray) that we don't see another Rusev/Lashley match. Another potential, which I want to have happen but don't think it will is to reveal that it was Sonya Deville who sent the fake text to Otis about Mandy running late, Mandy discovers this and this leads to the break-up of Fire and Desire and we have a babyface Mandy vs a heel Sonya. I don't know, sadly, where Daniel Bryan falls on this card, because he's Daniel Goddamn Bryan and he deserves to have a Mania match. If Corbin doesn't end up in the Andre match, I could see him starting some shit with D-Bry on Smackdown in order to have some kind of match between those two since they've spent so much time with Corbin since Mania last year for him to end up in a multi-man match. And Bryan can make anyone look good; even Corbin.
The bottom line is this: the only titles that feel important right now are by the virtue of those carrying them or the people slated to fight them. That's the Raw Women's title, the WWE title, the NXT Women's title and that's it. As far as the Grudge Match angles, the only one that makes sense and has a solid story and has two guys willing to rip each other's fucking heads off is Edge and Orton, so I'm pumped for that contest.
So yeah, this is a pretty unremarkable year so far. There are a few matches I'm looking forward to, but overall, I couldn't care less. But they have three weeks to change my mind. So this could be another bloated and meaningless affair, or it could be low-key pretty good.
Hey, stranger things have happened.
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