So here we are with what is essentially the go-home PPV for Wrestlemania. There are a lot of stories here that are going to ultimately feed into the Showcase of the Immortals, and there have been some additions and changes to the card, and this should make things pretty interesting if they decide to swerve us on some of these. So let's get into it!
3:38 PM PST - So our first match was one of the new matches announced over this weekend, and that's Shinsuke Nakamura and Rusev vs Xavier Woods and Big E of The New Day. Just prior to this, Kofi was requested to talk to the McMahon family regarding the WWE Championship, so who knows exactly what's going to happen there.
3:43 PM PST - I don't understand why they're doing PiP during a kickoff match. They've had plenty of time to give promos for the PPV.
3:46 PM PST - Miz and Shane with Mr. Miz announcing that they're kicking off the show in their title match against The Usos. I'm not sure how I feel about that match kicking things off, but to be perfectly honest, I don't know what the best match to start this show would be.
3:50 PM PST - Xavier totally botched that step-up enziguri, but at least Shin still sold it.
3:51 PM PST - Did something happen to Lana? Why is her leg in a brace?
3:53 PM PST - What happened to Big E? Where did he go?
3:55 PM PST - Up Up Down Down for the win! This was a fine match. Not anything really special, but it was fun. And since this wasn't announced, there weren't any hopes or predictions, so no score yet! As far as the kickoff is concerned, I don't really understand why they rebooked the Rey/Andrade match to be included in a rematch of the Fatal 4-Way for the US title also including R-Truth and of course champ Samoa Joe, but maybe they are holding on to that marquee-level match until Mania... who knows what they hell they're thinking at this point?
4:05 PM PST - Big pop for Miz as he's sporting Browns colors for his ring gear.
4:10 PM PST - Hart Attack by Shane and Miz!
4:15 PM PST - Miz from the top rope to the outside! Hometown energy!
4:18 PM PST - Superkick party! But because the ref was checking on Shane, he missed Miz hitting Skull-Crushing Finale and that's going to be the bust-up right there.
4:21 PM PST - Shane intercepts Uce hitting the Superfly Splash with a Coast to Coast!
4:22 PM PST - Miz, at his dad's urging, tries to go for a frog splash, but Uce gets his knees up and gets a roll-up win.
4:24 PM PST - Shane always looks like he needs serious medical attention after a match.
4:25 PM PST - Dad still gives a hug at ringside!
4:26 PM PST - SHANE TAKES OUT MIZ!!!!!!!! AND ATTACKS MR. MIZ!!!!!!!!! THIS IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!
4:27 PM PST - This is the best possible outcome for this. Making Shane the heel is a great move, and one that I really wished for! I didn't think they'd pull the trigger on that, but they did! So yeah, this didn't really meet my Hope (despite exceeding it), but it did meet my Prediction! So yeah, I'm 1 for 1!
4:33 PM PST - Elias? What's he going to do (other than sing, of course)? And he's getting his brand of heat by shitting on Cleveland.
4:35 PM PST - And is that it? A quick song and out? Well, it's better than them making some silly surprise match.
4:36 PM PST - And we're getting Mandy vs Asuka now. This really should be a squash, or Sonya should turn on Mandy. Get ready for more gross commentary from Graves.
4:45 PM PST - And another pump kick from Rose. That's what Mandy Rose is: a bunch of pump-kicks.
4:47 PM PST - Mandy slips on the ring apron that Sonya pulled up to get a kendo stick and eats a spinning back kick for the win. This is going to be the bust-up. So I'm 2 for 2 in Predictions!
4:49 PM PST - And New Day meets with Vince, and E and Xavier put over Kofi like hell. And they've changed the match to a triple threat! The WWE Championship match is going to be Kofi Kingston vs Kevin Owens vs Daniel Bryan! It doesn't make sense that Vince is making this match like this, but when has this stuff ever made sense?
4:52 PM PST - And this match has been changed from the WWE Championship match to a handicap match where Kofi is going to be facing both members of The Bar at the same time? They're really trying to play up the underdog element for Kofi.
4:58 PM PST - "This is boring" chants start to come in. And Big E and Xavier try to come in for the save but Rusev and Nakamura head them off at the pass. The Bar hits the Double White Noise for the finish. This was really stupid. I get their desire to keep putting Kofi in the super-underdog spot, but this was a real momentum stopper, particularly so early in the show. And again, since this wasn't announced,
5:02 PM PST - Elias, again. Still getting that heat. I'm glad that he's heel again.
5:04 PM PST - They sure are keeping these Elias segments short and sweet. There's going to be a surprise match later tonight, and I'm guessing it's going to be against Finn, so they can get the pop.
5:06 PM PST - Kayla tries to interview Shane, who scoffs and just shuts the door, but that doesn't really matter because THE FUTURE OF FLIGHT IN IN THE HOUSE.
5:10 PM PST - Bobby Roode is just not getting that pop anymore. It seems like it's been a really long time since he's gotten the "Glorious" pops, and bad booking and poor characterization is responsible.
5:13 PM PST - Stereo psyche-outs from Aleister and Ricochet. It's so pretty.
5:21 PM PST - Some really nice false finishes in that sequence!
5:22 PM PST - Frankensteiner from Ricochet takes everyone out on the outside!
5:24 PM PST - Really nice sequence to get to The Shatter Machine for The Revival to retain over Gable, but our NXT heroes are standing tall after Roode hitting Dawson with the Glorious DDT, but then Roode gets taken down by a Black Mass and then Ricochet hitting Dash with the 630. But the match still ends in the way I hoped with Revival retaining over the team of Roode and Gable! I'm 3 for 3! That was another fine match, but again, nothing really special.
5:29 PM PST - And it's R-Truth and Mella out first for the US Title Fatal 4-Way. And Mella is rapping with Truth! I'm now wondering, since Mustafa is back, if he's going to be Joe's contender at Mania.
5:33 PM PST - Good pop for Joe now that he has a title.
5:35 PM PST - I am in love with Joe's suicide dive.
5:42 PM PST - Rey breaks the ref's count by grabbing the ropes. Does that really count in a No DQ match? Well, whatever.
5:44 PM PST - I'm loving Truth hitting the Five-Knuckle Shuffle.
5:46 PM PST - Rey missing the follow-up 619 splash and Joe locks in the Coquina Clutch and it's all over. Since this was another surprise match, it doesn't count towards the Hopes and Predictions, but this was a fun match. It had some really fun spots.
5:49 PM PST - IT'S BOSS 'N HUG TIME!
5:52 PM PST - I kinda like Nia's ring gear.
5:57 PM PST - Oops... botched that pop-up Samoan Drop attempt.
5:58 PM PST - Have we ever seen Bayley do a suicide dive before??
5:59 PM PST - And Bayley hits a reversal and rolls up Nia for the win! They retain, and that means I'm 4 for 4, but the post-match beatdown begins.
6:00 PM PST - BETH PHOENIX STARES DOWN TAMINA. And then they're trading blows!
6:02 PM PST - Nia and Tamina are mugging Beth in the ring and Natalya comes in to make a save but fails. So that's a pre-show match for Mania between Nia and Tamina vs Nattie and The Glamazon.
6:05 PM PST - So we're getting another video package about the replacement of Kofi with KO. Is Kofi still competing, or is he going to be declared unfit to compete after the utter destruction he suffered at the hands of The Bar?
6:09 PM PST - KO comes out and it's still being announced as a triple threat.
6:10 PM PST - Daniel Bryan and Rowan come out. How is this going to work?
6:12 PM PST - IT'S MUSTAFA!!!
6:13 PM PST - Sadly, Mustafa is going to have to eat some boos because he's being viewed as Kofi's replacement and that's really sad. They should have brought out a heel.
6:14 PM PST - "We want Kofi" chants begin.
6:17 PM PST - The crowd is absolutely 100% out of this match. This sucks to put Ali in this position. All wrong.
6:18 PM PST - OHMYGOD THAT KICK TO ALI.
6:21 PM PST - I'm guessing Kofi is going to come out, and is going to be stopped by Rowan.
6:25 PM PST - TOP ROPE STANDING SPANISH FLY.
6:26 PM PST - STONE COLD STUNNER to Ali but Bryan breaks the pinfall.
6:27 PM PST - Owens hits the Pop-Up Powerbomb and Bryan kicks out!
6:29 PM PST - Ali hits the 450 splash on the apron!
6:30 PM PST - Superkick party!
6:31 PM PST - ALI WITH A TOP ROPE TORNADO DDT! KO HITS POP-UP POWERBOMB ON THE APRON TO ALI! ROWAN MAKES A SAVE.
6:33 PM PST - BRYAN HITS THE FLYING KNEE AGAINST ALI IN THE AIR!!! And Bryan gets the pin, so not the Hope but certainly the Prediction! That makes me 5 for 5! Rowan claw-slams (is that what it's called?) Ali post-match.
6:37 PM PST - And it's going to be Becky vs Charlotte next, and I'm shocked that there are some people on Twitter that thought that this was going to be the headliner.
6:43 PM PST - And Becky comes out still on a crutch. And Charlotte is making fun of her the whole time.
6:46 PM PST - Charlotte jaw-jacking is actually pretty fun.
6:53 PM PST - And here comes Ronda to hit Becky, and that's a DQ. So that didn't happen the way that I thought it was going to, but I really should have. So I'm 5 for 6. That was some really weird booking.
6:57 PM PST - And it's Elias again. Getting heat by talking shit about Becky. I kind of like the idea of Elias being the Greek chorus of this show.
6:59 PM PST - And it's Lacey Fucking Evans again.
7:00 PM PST - AND RANDY ORTON HITS AN RKO OUTTA NOWHERE on ELIAS! AND A.J. STYLES HITS ORTON WITH THE PHENOMENAL FOREARM! So that, in essence, confirms their Mania match.
7:08 PM PST - Really? Lashley doesn't have Lio Rush with him? But commentary is explaining that he was so badly injured last week when Strowman smooshed him through the barricade, so I guess that makes sense.
7:11 PM PST - SIERRA HOTEL INDIA ECHO LIMA DELTA.
7:14 PM PST - The Manager, next to me: "Why does Graves, whenever he talks to Renee, always sound like he's mansplaining everything to her?"
7:16 PM PST - Roman comes in the ring and doesn't look like he's lost a step.
7:23 PM PST - I always love wrestlers beating the count at 9 when they're just a heap for 8 and a half seconds and then they just get a massive rush of energy.
7:26 PM PST - Lunatic Lariat!
7:27 PM PST - I love that Roman hasn't really stopped smiling.
7:32 PM PST - SETH HITS A CROSSBODY from the first balcony!
7:33 PM PST - I don't know if Roman botched that slide-under by Corbin, but yeah, that didn't look pretty.
7:35 PM PST - You gotta feel bad for the Spanish announce team.
7:37 PM PST - DREW EATS THE TRIPLE POWERBOMB!
7:38 PM PST - SUPERKICK. SUPERMAN PUNCH. DIRTY DEEDS.
7:39 PM PST - CORBIN EATS THE LAST TRIPLE POWERBOMB OF THE SHIELD. So that's it. I was close in my Hopes, because they hit two of the three heels through the table. But it matches my Prediction, so I'm 6 for 7, which is the best I've ever done on a PPV!
7:42 PM PST - The last of the Shield fistbumps.
So this had some really good moments, some really bad moments, and some really ugly moments. But yeah, this was pretty typical for Fastlane. It's the "detour before Wrestlemania" or the "road bump to Wrestlemania" or whatever. It just wasn't great, but we have Becky officially going to Mania, even if that booking was so fucking weird, and we will have Kofi going to Mania, even though his booking was so weird, and we had a really good send-off for The Shield, and there was nothing weird about that. And we're getting some pretty specific looks at some future Mania matches, but with the way that Vince is booking things lately, it's actually somewhat exciting because we really don't seem to know what's going to happen.
And that's it for my live reaction blog for Fastlane! Tune in later this week for my Raw and Smackdown as well as my NXT recap!
Until next time, kids...
3:38 PM PST - So our first match was one of the new matches announced over this weekend, and that's Shinsuke Nakamura and Rusev vs Xavier Woods and Big E of The New Day. Just prior to this, Kofi was requested to talk to the McMahon family regarding the WWE Championship, so who knows exactly what's going to happen there.
3:43 PM PST - I don't understand why they're doing PiP during a kickoff match. They've had plenty of time to give promos for the PPV.
3:46 PM PST - Miz and Shane with Mr. Miz announcing that they're kicking off the show in their title match against The Usos. I'm not sure how I feel about that match kicking things off, but to be perfectly honest, I don't know what the best match to start this show would be.
3:50 PM PST - Xavier totally botched that step-up enziguri, but at least Shin still sold it.
3:51 PM PST - Did something happen to Lana? Why is her leg in a brace?
3:53 PM PST - What happened to Big E? Where did he go?
3:55 PM PST - Up Up Down Down for the win! This was a fine match. Not anything really special, but it was fun. And since this wasn't announced, there weren't any hopes or predictions, so no score yet! As far as the kickoff is concerned, I don't really understand why they rebooked the Rey/Andrade match to be included in a rematch of the Fatal 4-Way for the US title also including R-Truth and of course champ Samoa Joe, but maybe they are holding on to that marquee-level match until Mania... who knows what they hell they're thinking at this point?
4:05 PM PST - Big pop for Miz as he's sporting Browns colors for his ring gear.
4:10 PM PST - Hart Attack by Shane and Miz!
4:15 PM PST - Miz from the top rope to the outside! Hometown energy!
4:18 PM PST - Superkick party! But because the ref was checking on Shane, he missed Miz hitting Skull-Crushing Finale and that's going to be the bust-up right there.
4:21 PM PST - Shane intercepts Uce hitting the Superfly Splash with a Coast to Coast!
4:22 PM PST - Miz, at his dad's urging, tries to go for a frog splash, but Uce gets his knees up and gets a roll-up win.
4:24 PM PST - Shane always looks like he needs serious medical attention after a match.
4:25 PM PST - Dad still gives a hug at ringside!
4:26 PM PST - SHANE TAKES OUT MIZ!!!!!!!! AND ATTACKS MR. MIZ!!!!!!!!! THIS IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!
4:27 PM PST - This is the best possible outcome for this. Making Shane the heel is a great move, and one that I really wished for! I didn't think they'd pull the trigger on that, but they did! So yeah, this didn't really meet my Hope (despite exceeding it), but it did meet my Prediction! So yeah, I'm 1 for 1!
4:33 PM PST - Elias? What's he going to do (other than sing, of course)? And he's getting his brand of heat by shitting on Cleveland.
4:35 PM PST - And is that it? A quick song and out? Well, it's better than them making some silly surprise match.
4:36 PM PST - And we're getting Mandy vs Asuka now. This really should be a squash, or Sonya should turn on Mandy. Get ready for more gross commentary from Graves.
4:45 PM PST - And another pump kick from Rose. That's what Mandy Rose is: a bunch of pump-kicks.
4:47 PM PST - Mandy slips on the ring apron that Sonya pulled up to get a kendo stick and eats a spinning back kick for the win. This is going to be the bust-up. So I'm 2 for 2 in Predictions!
4:49 PM PST - And New Day meets with Vince, and E and Xavier put over Kofi like hell. And they've changed the match to a triple threat! The WWE Championship match is going to be Kofi Kingston vs Kevin Owens vs Daniel Bryan! It doesn't make sense that Vince is making this match like this, but when has this stuff ever made sense?
4:52 PM PST - And this match has been changed from the WWE Championship match to a handicap match where Kofi is going to be facing both members of The Bar at the same time? They're really trying to play up the underdog element for Kofi.
4:58 PM PST - "This is boring" chants start to come in. And Big E and Xavier try to come in for the save but Rusev and Nakamura head them off at the pass. The Bar hits the Double White Noise for the finish. This was really stupid. I get their desire to keep putting Kofi in the super-underdog spot, but this was a real momentum stopper, particularly so early in the show. And again, since this wasn't announced,
5:02 PM PST - Elias, again. Still getting that heat. I'm glad that he's heel again.
5:04 PM PST - They sure are keeping these Elias segments short and sweet. There's going to be a surprise match later tonight, and I'm guessing it's going to be against Finn, so they can get the pop.
5:06 PM PST - Kayla tries to interview Shane, who scoffs and just shuts the door, but that doesn't really matter because THE FUTURE OF FLIGHT IN IN THE HOUSE.
5:10 PM PST - Bobby Roode is just not getting that pop anymore. It seems like it's been a really long time since he's gotten the "Glorious" pops, and bad booking and poor characterization is responsible.
5:13 PM PST - Stereo psyche-outs from Aleister and Ricochet. It's so pretty.
5:21 PM PST - Some really nice false finishes in that sequence!
5:22 PM PST - Frankensteiner from Ricochet takes everyone out on the outside!
5:24 PM PST - Really nice sequence to get to The Shatter Machine for The Revival to retain over Gable, but our NXT heroes are standing tall after Roode hitting Dawson with the Glorious DDT, but then Roode gets taken down by a Black Mass and then Ricochet hitting Dash with the 630. But the match still ends in the way I hoped with Revival retaining over the team of Roode and Gable! I'm 3 for 3! That was another fine match, but again, nothing really special.
5:29 PM PST - And it's R-Truth and Mella out first for the US Title Fatal 4-Way. And Mella is rapping with Truth! I'm now wondering, since Mustafa is back, if he's going to be Joe's contender at Mania.
5:33 PM PST - Good pop for Joe now that he has a title.
5:35 PM PST - I am in love with Joe's suicide dive.
5:42 PM PST - Rey breaks the ref's count by grabbing the ropes. Does that really count in a No DQ match? Well, whatever.
5:44 PM PST - I'm loving Truth hitting the Five-Knuckle Shuffle.
5:46 PM PST - Rey missing the follow-up 619 splash and Joe locks in the Coquina Clutch and it's all over. Since this was another surprise match, it doesn't count towards the Hopes and Predictions, but this was a fun match. It had some really fun spots.
5:49 PM PST - IT'S BOSS 'N HUG TIME!
5:52 PM PST - I kinda like Nia's ring gear.
5:57 PM PST - Oops... botched that pop-up Samoan Drop attempt.
5:58 PM PST - Have we ever seen Bayley do a suicide dive before??
5:59 PM PST - And Bayley hits a reversal and rolls up Nia for the win! They retain, and that means I'm 4 for 4, but the post-match beatdown begins.
6:00 PM PST - BETH PHOENIX STARES DOWN TAMINA. And then they're trading blows!
6:02 PM PST - Nia and Tamina are mugging Beth in the ring and Natalya comes in to make a save but fails. So that's a pre-show match for Mania between Nia and Tamina vs Nattie and The Glamazon.
6:05 PM PST - So we're getting another video package about the replacement of Kofi with KO. Is Kofi still competing, or is he going to be declared unfit to compete after the utter destruction he suffered at the hands of The Bar?
6:09 PM PST - KO comes out and it's still being announced as a triple threat.
6:10 PM PST - Daniel Bryan and Rowan come out. How is this going to work?
6:12 PM PST - IT'S MUSTAFA!!!
6:13 PM PST - Sadly, Mustafa is going to have to eat some boos because he's being viewed as Kofi's replacement and that's really sad. They should have brought out a heel.
6:14 PM PST - "We want Kofi" chants begin.
6:17 PM PST - The crowd is absolutely 100% out of this match. This sucks to put Ali in this position. All wrong.
6:18 PM PST - OHMYGOD THAT KICK TO ALI.
6:21 PM PST - I'm guessing Kofi is going to come out, and is going to be stopped by Rowan.
6:25 PM PST - TOP ROPE STANDING SPANISH FLY.
6:26 PM PST - STONE COLD STUNNER to Ali but Bryan breaks the pinfall.
6:27 PM PST - Owens hits the Pop-Up Powerbomb and Bryan kicks out!
6:29 PM PST - Ali hits the 450 splash on the apron!
6:30 PM PST - Superkick party!
6:31 PM PST - ALI WITH A TOP ROPE TORNADO DDT! KO HITS POP-UP POWERBOMB ON THE APRON TO ALI! ROWAN MAKES A SAVE.
6:33 PM PST - BRYAN HITS THE FLYING KNEE AGAINST ALI IN THE AIR!!! And Bryan gets the pin, so not the Hope but certainly the Prediction! That makes me 5 for 5! Rowan claw-slams (is that what it's called?) Ali post-match.
6:37 PM PST - And it's going to be Becky vs Charlotte next, and I'm shocked that there are some people on Twitter that thought that this was going to be the headliner.
6:43 PM PST - And Becky comes out still on a crutch. And Charlotte is making fun of her the whole time.
6:46 PM PST - Charlotte jaw-jacking is actually pretty fun.
6:53 PM PST - And here comes Ronda to hit Becky, and that's a DQ. So that didn't happen the way that I thought it was going to, but I really should have. So I'm 5 for 6. That was some really weird booking.
6:57 PM PST - And it's Elias again. Getting heat by talking shit about Becky. I kind of like the idea of Elias being the Greek chorus of this show.
6:59 PM PST - And it's Lacey Fucking Evans again.
7:00 PM PST - AND RANDY ORTON HITS AN RKO OUTTA NOWHERE on ELIAS! AND A.J. STYLES HITS ORTON WITH THE PHENOMENAL FOREARM! So that, in essence, confirms their Mania match.
7:08 PM PST - Really? Lashley doesn't have Lio Rush with him? But commentary is explaining that he was so badly injured last week when Strowman smooshed him through the barricade, so I guess that makes sense.
7:11 PM PST - SIERRA HOTEL INDIA ECHO LIMA DELTA.
7:14 PM PST - The Manager, next to me: "Why does Graves, whenever he talks to Renee, always sound like he's mansplaining everything to her?"
7:16 PM PST - Roman comes in the ring and doesn't look like he's lost a step.
7:23 PM PST - I always love wrestlers beating the count at 9 when they're just a heap for 8 and a half seconds and then they just get a massive rush of energy.
7:26 PM PST - Lunatic Lariat!
7:27 PM PST - I love that Roman hasn't really stopped smiling.
7:32 PM PST - SETH HITS A CROSSBODY from the first balcony!
7:33 PM PST - I don't know if Roman botched that slide-under by Corbin, but yeah, that didn't look pretty.
7:35 PM PST - You gotta feel bad for the Spanish announce team.
7:37 PM PST - DREW EATS THE TRIPLE POWERBOMB!
7:38 PM PST - SUPERKICK. SUPERMAN PUNCH. DIRTY DEEDS.
7:39 PM PST - CORBIN EATS THE LAST TRIPLE POWERBOMB OF THE SHIELD. So that's it. I was close in my Hopes, because they hit two of the three heels through the table. But it matches my Prediction, so I'm 6 for 7, which is the best I've ever done on a PPV!
7:42 PM PST - The last of the Shield fistbumps.
So this had some really good moments, some really bad moments, and some really ugly moments. But yeah, this was pretty typical for Fastlane. It's the "detour before Wrestlemania" or the "road bump to Wrestlemania" or whatever. It just wasn't great, but we have Becky officially going to Mania, even if that booking was so fucking weird, and we will have Kofi going to Mania, even though his booking was so weird, and we had a really good send-off for The Shield, and there was nothing weird about that. And we're getting some pretty specific looks at some future Mania matches, but with the way that Vince is booking things lately, it's actually somewhat exciting because we really don't seem to know what's going to happen.
And that's it for my live reaction blog for Fastlane! Tune in later this week for my Raw and Smackdown as well as my NXT recap!
Until next time, kids...
Comments
Post a Comment