So we've just come off a pretty lukewarm PPV with Fastlane, but the one thing that happened is that a lot of potential Wrestlemania matches have either been finalized or are that much closer to taking shape. So how are Raw and Smackdown going to further those stories, and how are the superstars going to capitalize off their momentum? So let's start trying to figure that out as we first explore this week's Raw!
We started with SIERRA HOTEL INDIA ECHO LIMA DELTA making their standard through-the-crowd entrance (and apparently sporting some new merch, if my eyes aren't deceiving me) and Roman gets on the mic and thanks his brothers for giving him this opportunity to have one more ride as a member of The Shield, but he's got business to take care of since he hasn't been in a one-on-one match in five months, and Dean's got business to attend to (because they can't just say he's leaving), and most importantly, Seth's got business of his own. They all hug it out and leave Seth in the ring to cut a promo on how he's going to be facing Brock Lesnar in 27 days for the Universal title, but is almost immediately interrupted by Paul Heyman. Heyman gives his usual shtick and Seth interrupts him this time around and explains how Brock has been dominant over guys like Big Show, Strowman, and Goldberg. But then he says that Brock has traditionally had problems with guys like Daniel Bryan, A.J. Styles, and Finn Balor, basically stating that Brock always underestimates the smaller guys, and that a guy with Seth's speed and agility and skill will be the one who slays The Beast at Mania. Heyman makes excuses for his client by saying that he had next to no time to prepare for any of those other competitors before he faced them. He shows a video package about how dominant Lesnar is but Seth is still confident, and then suddenly, Shelton Benjamin attacks Seth from behind and suplexes him three times. Paul walks away looking satisfied, and Benjamin stands tall as we go to commercial. The "farewell address" from The Shield was very short and I don't know if it really gave the audience the measure of satisfaction they might have been looking for, but I guess it's more about leaving the door open for a possible reunion later down the years (or months, if the rumors about Dean possibly staying keep making the rounds) rather than closing the book completely. But the dueling promos is something that both Seth and Paul are really good at, and tonight was no exception. However, as far as Shelton Benjamin is concerned... well, we'll get into that next because during the commercial break, a match was made between Seth and Shelton.
So Heyman joins the commentary team while Rollins and Benjamin square off. The match itself is pretty sedate because A: Shelton Benjamin isn't really a particularly electrifying competitor anymore and B: the clear focus was on Heyman being on commentary. He verbally sparred with Cole and Renee, and Graves was his usual sycophantic self when it comes to heels appearing on commentary. He criticized the "sub-standard" video package that WWE put together for his client, and received a "call" from Lesnar while he was on commentary and said that Lesnar would be on Raw next week to address the WWE Universe. He also explained that Benjamin came out because he's a former college chum of Lesnar's as well as being a trainer to him in WWE, but most specifically, as it was revealed, that Paul paid Shelton just for the attack, but not to have the impromptu match. So at least we found out why Benjamin came over from Smackdown to Raw for this sneak attack. Anyway, Seth won the match with The Stomp or The Blackout or whatever we're calling it this week. Again, the focus was to make Seth look strong enough to take down a bigger competitor, and to make sure that Heyman got in all the storyline stuff. It worked in both respects, but the crowd wasn't very much there for it.
But while Seth was heading down, my man Finn came down to defend his IC title against Bobby Lashley in one-on-one competition.
Well, that was... something. I'm trying something a little different this week when it comes to my recaps because as we're really on the Road to Wrestlemania, the main roster is going to be a lot more about the promos and the story rather than the quality of the matches. The matches probably aren't going to be particularly hard-hitting just to err on the side of caution. Anyway, so thanks to a distraction by the not-dead-or-permanently-crippled Lio Rush, Finn got speared out of his kickpads and Bobby Lashley "reclaimed" the Intercontinental Championship. Now, I had absolutely no real interest in seeing a rematch at Mania between Finn and Lashley, but the only good thing to come out of this is that we're about to get the most epic version of The Demon King entrance at Mania when he eventually gets his rematch. I don't know what kinds of hoops he's going to have to go through to get it, but if I'm booking this, we don't get Finn on TV for the next two weeks, and then that week, we get Lashley and Rush cutting a promo saying that they're not going to give Finn a shot at a rematch, and then the lights go out, and when they come back up, The Demon King is behind them and just fucking wrecks them. This is the kind of thing that would drive the story forward, guaranteeing that Lashley would want to take on The Demon King out of sheer pride, and then Finn picks up the win at Mania and we get that pop that he deserves. But in all likelihood, we're going to see something like that next week. So it's what it is. They can either do right by Finn and the fans, or they can waste an opportunity that practically writes itself.
Then we got Charly interviewing Baron Corbin about his comments regarding Roman's departure and how he hoped that he stayed gone. And Corbin, who backtracked those comments before, now doubles down on them and says that he's not there to be nice and make friends, and he thinks that he's the one who's been carrying Raw and tonight, he's going to "house train" the Big Dog. You know, Corbin does get heat, but it's not "go away" heat. He's actually a pretty good shitheel character.
Then we get the big story of this past week in Ronda Rousey's heel turn as she comes out to the ring. She tells the audience, who is essentially nothing but boos, that she can take their "applause" and shove it. She goes on a tirade about how Becky sucks, Charlotte sucks, and the fans are just "bandwagon bitches", and she's going to go on to desecrate the sanctuary of WWE, and calls them a bunch of "carny con artists", and the fans are lucky to be behind barricades or else she'd come out to kick their asses as well. But she's ready to compete at Mania. They can make it a handicap match against her if they want to and she wouldn't break a sweat. And she plans to keep holding the Raw Women's title.
Before we get to the next part of this, there's one thought that kept recurring in this promo: why does Ronda care about having a title and competing in this fraud of a sport if, as she's said before, she's rich enough to not care about having to work there? And if her true motivation is to desecrate the WWE, why is she not drawing on the title belt with crayon or spray paint, or melting it down for scrap? Why is she still wearing her merch? I think I've come to the conclusion about something an idea I was wrestling with (pun still intended) from last week's episode whether this heel turn was inspired genius or absolute stupidity, and I think, as of this week, I'm in the "absolute stupidity" camp. It's just one of those out-of-nowhere things that WWE does in order to heat up a feud that didn't need any extra heat at all. In fact, I think in all seriousness that this story could use some cooling down. I'm glad neither Becky or Charlotte came out, and I'm hoping that Becky will stay off TV for a week or so. There are now so many moving parts to this story and the characters in them that it's getting unnecessarily complicated, and I'm deathly afraid that this whole match, which could be one of the best things to happen at a Wrestlemania ever, is getting a little dull, and the more they keep throwing at us about it, the less special it will feel when it finally gets here.
Anyway, out of the back comes, of all people, Dana Brooke (who has maybe had some work done?), and she's had enough of Ronda being so disrespectful to WWE, the fans and the locker room. She wants to prove that she still belongs here because she never gets any TV time, let alone a match, and she wants Ronda's post-PPV open challenge for the title, but before any bell rings, Ronda just beats the living shit out of Dana, hits her with Piper's Pit (poor Roddy is rolling in his grave right now) and is about to put her in an armbar, but she yells that if you want to see it, you have to pay the $60 for the PPV charges (umm... Ronda? The WWE Network is only $9.99 a month). She decks a ref and gets out but not before almost forgetting her jacket and her title. I'm so glad that I can hate Ronda now. This might be the version of her I've always wanted, but it's certainly not the way I wanted it.
Then we get a quick recap of the last two weeks regarding the rivalry between Batista and Triple H, and then we get Aleister Black's entrance. He's joined by Ricochet to compete in a tag match against Gable and Roode. I have to admit that seeing a singles match between Gable and Ricochet would be pretty cool, and I also have to admit that Roode and Gable's double-team Blockbuster/Northern Lights Suplex pinning combo is pretty fucking slick. But Ricochet would hit something akin to a GTS, but it was Aleister hitting an incredibly beautiful Black Mass on Roode for the win. On their way out, The Revival attack the babyfaces from behind. I'm not sure exactly what match this is building to since they just had a triple-threat tag match for the Raw tag titles, but I also don't think that it should be The Revival vs Aleister and Ricochet at Mania either, because I'd much rather have them retain, and I don't want the NXT call-ups to be handed their first loss at Mania, and even moreso, I don't want Aleister and Ric to remain a tag team. So this one's still a little vague right now.
Then we get A Moment of Bliss where Alexa comes out to introduce the host of Wrestlemania this year. She says it's someone cooler than Kim Kardashian, more electrifying than The Rock and has more power of positivity than The New Day, and the host is... Alexa Bliss. Hey, I'm all for this. If she still can't work in the ring right now (which I don't know if that has anything to do with her screwing up Ember Moon's arm and putting her on the shelf at the Rumble), no one can say that she wouldn't kill it on the mic, so I'm looking forward to that.
Then we get a quick reminder of Michael Che and Colin Jost from last week with a video package that is filled with canned cheers and laughter, and a reminder of what Braun did to Jost. When asked about it this week, Braun says that was fun for him, and then he is told that his car is here, which is a brand-new Camaro and it's apparently a gift from Colin Jost. He throws in a little jab about Strowman wrecking Vince's limo, and then Braun starts tearing the car apart. I'm not sure what this is working towards either, because it seems like Braun again doesn't have a match for Mania. And if he's just going to run around the place trying to kill Jost, that's going to be pretty unfortunate for Braun.
Next up is Elias, who is trying to get heat in his own hometown of Pittsburgh, and he fails at first, but finally hits that sweet spot when he mentions Antonio Brown. But then he's interrupted by No Way Jose, who is sporting the weirdest fucking hair I think I've ever seen on a man, and his conga line, and Elias beats the hell out of him and hits Drift Away on Jose on the steel portion of the entrance ramp. So that's another thing that seems to be waning, and that's interest in Elias. I think that he's found a good groove for himself as a fun heel who is great at getting that cheap heat, but I don't think he's really ever found a groove as an in-ring competitor. I don't know who he has to have a match against to get over as a competitor, but it would have to be someone big at this point.
And then we get the announcement that Harlem Heat is going to be inducted into the HOF this year, making Booker T another two-time HOF'er. So that's pretty cool.
And then Lacey Fucking Evans comes out and throws some non-verbal shade at Renee, and then heads on back, but Nia Jax and Tamina are there as well. You'd think that Lacey or Nia or Tamina would do something but nothing happens as Lacey just heads to the back, because Nia is going to have a match with Natalya due to the fallout of Backlash when they beat down Beth Phoenix. Nattie stands on the stage, wondering who's got her back now since Ronda has kicked everyone to the curb, and she knows only one person she can depend on, and Beth comes out, looking just ripped as hell. Nattie and Nia have a very brief in-ring exchange until Beth comes into the ring once again and attacks Nia, but as opposed to last night, it's Nattie and Beth who are standing tall at the end of the exchange. So this is a match that's definitely happening at Mania. I don't know who wants to really see this match, but it's going to happen, so we better be ready for it.
And then we have Batista showing up, flanked by 10 security guards, and since he's heading in, Triple H heads to the ring in his biker gear. Man, I love Batista's jacket. Anyway, he comes on the stage with his security and stands there for a while. Hunter asks if he's going to stand there "like a nose-ring model" or if he's going to get into the ring. Batista says that he's not there to fight now, and his security is there to protect him because he's learned all about fighting dirty from the likes of Hunter and Ric Flair. Dave is clearly happy to be back as he soaks in the heat from the audience. He then starts telling HHH to give him what he wants. Trips says he's not getting anything but the beating he deserves, and then Batista goes full Animal as he screams and slobbers at Hunter to give him what he wants. Hunter, after referring to his security as "Guardians of the Independent Scene", finally asks what he wants, and Batista tells him that he wants to have the match he's always wanted, which is the two of them at Mania. Trips makes the match at Mania, but he tells him to dig deep to find whatever might be left of The Animal, because he's making it a No Holds Barred match. This is good stuff. Let it never be said that the two of these guys can't get you going and get you excited. This might not be the greatest match ever, but it should be pretty fun.
Then we get Kurt Angle, also a hometown boy, coming out to tell us that his final match will be at Mania. He doesn't have an opponent yet, but that's going to be it for him and he thanks the WWE Universe and his hometown fans. As you know already, I'm going to be very glad when Kurt truly retires. I'm tired of feeling sad every time I watch him compete. But he says he wants to have one final match in his hometown and Apollo Crews comes out to face him and it's easy to understand why. Whenever Angle hits Crews with a suplex, you can see that Crews knows how to build the momentum to get over Kurt's head for the landing so that Kurt isn't always landing on the back of his skull. Angle Slam for the win, and I'm interested to find out who Kurt will face in his final match. Cena seems like the most obvious choice, but since Samoa Joe used Cena's name last week in his US title post-win interview, it seems like Cena would be a more appropriate competitor for Joe, although I'm thinking it should be Mustafa Ali vs Joe and Cena vs Angle.
Then we get Roman coming out for his match against Corbin, but after he gets in the ring, he's brutally ambushed by Drew McIntyre. He really fucks him up with two Claymores, the last one kicking him right into the ringpost. The medics come down to check on him, and so does Seth. Seth and Dean help Roman into the trainer's office to get checked out, and Dean makes a beeline for Trips because he is righteously furious. He demands a match with Drew right here and now, and he wants it No DQ and Falls Count Anywhere. Trips gives him what he wants, and the match is ready to go as Dean's entrance music hits and he heads to the ring with white-hot intensity. Drew comes out to the stage and asks if this is what Dean truly wants, and Dean charges at him on the stage and the match starts.
While watching this match, I got a feeling that this was much more akin to the match that Dean wanted against Brock back at Mania 32. It was ferocity, it was unhinged and it was just phenomenally fun to watch. Dean was ragdolled into the stadium wall; Dean bit down on Drew's fingers, they fought out at concessions during the commercial break, Drew slammed Dean's head into the steel ring steps twice, Dean put Drew on a ride on some rolling road cases, they exchanged low blows, fought on the announce table (Renee, you could have totally hit Drew with your chair! That's your man up there!), Drew stabbed Dean in the eye with a fucking pencil (and I couldn't help but think of Heath Ledger's Joker), Drew threw Dean into the LED board on the stage, trapped him in a small metal staircase railing and hit a Claymore that finally put Dean down for the pinfall. Dean got up and wanted more and Drew treated him to another Claymore. This was just awesome. And the table is essentially set for a Roman vs Drew match at Mania, and that should be a really good match. Drew is an incredibly talented all-around performer; he's good on the mic and he's great in the ring, and he should absolutely be at the top of the card. So what if he eats the pinfall at Mania to Roman? He'll be in contention for the Universal title soon enough once Seth wins it off Lesnar. But seriously, this match and the advancing of a few key storylines made this a pretty decent overall episode of Raw. I'm not totally hyped about every match, but at least a lot of the pieces are forming.
Now onto Smackdown!
The show opened with Shane O'Mac feeling decidedly heelish as he comes into the ring with his Best in the World trophy, and the ring announcer announces him as normal. Shane soaks up some boos, grabs the announcer, and tells him to do his intro better. He tries again, but it's still not enough for Shane, and he grabs him again, and once more with feeling, the announcer gets it to Shane's satisfaction. He then starts to go on about why he did what he did at Fastlane to Miz and Mr. Miz, and it's because he's sick and tired of everyone, from the locker room to the boardroom to the fans coming up to him asking what he can do for them, and he's decided that he's going to start doing things for himself. And this moment of liberation came when he was beating down Miz and his "potato-faced" father. And since there are perks to being the boss's son, he knows that Miz is still recuperating from the beatdown, and he's decided to make a match against Miz at Mania. This is coming together shockingly well, because it's the story I really wanted to see. Miz turning heel on Shane is so simple to do, and Shane doing the heel turn is a much more compelling story. I want to see Shane go uber-heel though. I want to see him conspiring with Daddy to fuck over other competitors, but not so much to emulate Baron Corbin's shenanigans when he was "General Manager Elect" on Raw.
Then we get an 8-man tag match between Aleister Black, Ricochet, and the Hardys vs The Bar, Shinsuke Nakamura and Rusev. At this point, and even I'm having a hard time admitting this, but I'm starting to really think that Aleister and Ricochet are getting a little too over-saturated. I know that the truly unfortunate situation with Tommaso Ciampa has put a huge monkey wrench in the works because he and Johnny Gargano were supposed to be working these shows as well, and maybe at a certain point, they would split the two teams up and have one on SD and the other on Raw. I know that I shouldn't be complaining about too much of a good thing, but I don't want all the cool elements of Black and Ricochet to be wasted on what seems like a short-term story, especially on Smackdown, because they're already in the thick of it as far as the Raw tag titles are concerned, so to keep showcasing them on this show while they have a story with actual stakes on Monday nights, they might want to keep them on one or the other. Personally, I'm hoping for Ricochet to go to Raw, because they could use a really solid high-flyer, and Aleister to go to Smackdown in order for him to have some striking matches with people like Orton, Nakamura, Joe, et. al. As far as this match is concerned, though, again I'm having my usual issues with multi-person tag matches because it's just too damn many people in the ring. But the Hardys looked better than they have in a while, and I liked the ending with The New Day coming in and laying waste to the heels causing the DQ, because those guys are pissed, and for good reason. And we'll get into more of that later.
Then backstage, we get The Usos and they're pumped for New Day, but they're also naming off all the other tag teams on Smackdown and they wonder who's going to step up to them for the title, because they've got the Smackdown Tag scene on lockdown. I always enjoy seeing this darker, more fired-up side of The Usos. It's good stuff.
Then Randy Orton comes out, and frankly, I'm still surprised he gets pops. But this episode makes a stronger case for why people appreciate him. He's full of bluster as he wonders why A.J. calls this the house that he built, because in 2002, when A.J. was getting $10 per appearance, he was making his WWE debut. When Styles was doing bingo halls in 2004, Randy was becoming the youngest WWE champion. When A.J. was getting a tan with Dixie Carter (that's actually a pretty good burn) in 2005, he was having Mania matches against The Undertaker and he's been here the whole time and is a 13-time WWE champ. Randy says that this is the house that he built. A.J. comes out and says for someone who doesn't think much of him, he's sure followed his career. A.J. is proud to have come from the indies and how a guy like Orton was made for WWE because he could have never made it in the indies with his pose and a knock-off diamond cutter. Randy retorts about knock-offs with the Too Sweet gesture. A.J. then runs down the reasons that Randy's remained relevant and successful, because he hangs with groups of people like Evolution, The Legacy, Rated RKO and the Wyatt Family, so it seems like Randy's had a lot of "babysitters" over the years. Randy fires back that this is really the house he built, and A.J. is just renting a room there and the rent's come due. A.J. tells him that if he wants his rent, and as he points to the Wrestlemania sign, he tells Randy that he can get it there. This was a fantastic promo from both guys who, historically, aren't great with promos. They were fierce, and most importantly of all, they told a really old-school Booking 101 story. Randy says he made Smackdown what it is, and A.J. says he's making Smackdown what it is. It's old-school vs new-school for who can lay claim to who really runs the show, and I gotta say, this is the kind of promo that gets you pumped for seeing this match at Mania. And it's more in line with the kind of match that A.J. should have this year, facing off against someone who is a WWE lifer.
Next up is Asuka who is taking on Sonya Deville with Mandy Rose at ringside. This was another unspectacular match, but at least it painted a clearer picture of what's in line for Mania and these women. Mandy "inadvertently"cost Sonya the match when she yanked on the ring apron cover and tripped up Deville, who then got put into the Asuka Lock and had to tap. As Sonya and Mandy made their way backstage, it was clear that the groundwork they started to lay for their fracturing at Fastlane is continuing, and I'm going to go ahead and call it now that it's going to be a triple threat at Mania with Asuka, Mandy and Sonya for the Smackdown Women's title. If you're not going to have a good match, at least tell me a good story, and I'll be happy. Although I would have been a little happier if Graves could shut up for a full five seconds when Mandy is around.
Then we got a quick video of The IIconics calling out The Boss 'N Hug Connection and wondering why they haven't been around to allow them to challenge for the Women's tag belts. This was the funniest bit that these two have done in a long time. I loved this promo, despite it being pre-taped. It played up their cattiness and it just made me laugh. I'm pretty sure this is going to be the Women's Tag title match at Mania. See? Things are definitely becoming easier to book as the date gets closer.
Then we get The Man coming around, and she comes out with her crutch, and quickly casts it aside and walks somewhat gingerly (no pun intended) to the ring. She talks about how everyone suddenly got really brave when she was suspended and then arrested and then unsuspended and so on. She also talks about how she is going to be in the main event at Mania, and how she's had to earn her way into it twice; once at the Rumble and this past Sunday at Fastlane, and she loves how that particular match shaped up because she's so far in Ronnie's head that she effectively did Becky's bidding without her knowing it, but then she asks how does someone play mind games with someone without a brain (something she tweeted as well, although accompanied by a hilarious picture) and calls Ronda a "little weirdo" but also goes on to say that she's going to take Ronda's title and rip her arm off. But Charlotte comes out to interrupt, fake-congratulating Becky on her win at Fastlane. She then goes on to say that while Becky's been away, Charlotte has been the one putting in the work (although I can't remember the last time Charlotte competed on Smackdown), and how it's different for someone who's only been hot for six months as opposed to someone like her who's been hot for four years. She then claims that the only reason Becky has fans is because they're all sorry for her, and Becky simply says, "Shut your face, you dope. You plastic-faced dope" and I howled with laughter. Becky went on to say that while Charlotte was on top, she did nothing with what she had, and now that The Man is here, she's the one everyone's talking about and the reason that they're main-eventing Mania. This is literally the only thing I want from Becky for the next few weeks. She can dine out on this promo for a week or so, do some Twitter stuff, and then come back, fully recovered, and lay waste to a bunch of heels or just Charlotte or whatever. Just when I thought I was cooling on this feud, they heated it right back up. What can I say? Becky gets to me when she's cutting her promos.
Then we have Kayla backstage outside Vince's office, and she catches Daniel Bryan and Rowan coming out, and she asks what he was discussing with Vince. Daniel says that it was a private conversation, but he did have things to say about Kofi Kingston and about how he was forced into a triple threat at Fastlane and still retained his title because he's not just the WWE Champion but the Planet's Champion. He says that he and Rowan are going to have a tag match tonight, and leaves.
Then we get another tag match with R-Truth and Rey Mysterio vs Samoa Joe and Andrade. This was a pretty standard match for these guys; Joe looked pretty dominant, Rey and Andrade had the cool spots and Truth kept doing his Cena impression. It was totally fine, and it was Rey who rolled up Joe for the win. He got the hell out of the ring, but Joe then laid waste with massive uranages to both Truth and Andrade. There are very few things that are more frightening than an angry Joe. And it's with that win that seems to have put Rey closest to being the one who would take on Joe for the US title at Mania, but if he and Andrade are going to have a match, I don't want it to turn into another triple threat title match, because we're going to have a few of those already.
Then comes Kevin Owens and Mustafa Ali to take on D-Bry and Rowan. This match should have been more of a comeback party for Ali, but the real story on display here is how fucking dangerous Rowan is. Sure he can't do much in the way of traditional wrestling, but he can be a solid monster for the smaller Daniel. Most of this match was Ali getting beaten to a pulp, and just when it seemed he could turn it around, Rowan hit him with what is now known as The Iron Claw for the pin. So yeah, I buy Rowan as a very destructive force in Daniel's corner. Again, not a great match, but it told a story. Although the one thing about this match that is still a little too opaque for my liking is what opportunities, if any, KO and Ali will get at Mania.
Then Vince comes out and talks about how he's going to give everyone what they want by giving Kofi an opportunity at Wrestlemania, and then he discussed what happened with Kofi at Fastlane. He said that he was going to give him a triple threat and he did; it just wasn't what Kofi or any of the fans wanted. He says that people only hear what they want to hear (this should be a big hint on what he just said about giving Kofi an opportunity at Mania), and he's all about giving "teachable" moments. The New Day interrupt and tell Vince that they don't want him to teach them a damn thing. Kofi stands silently while Xavier and Big E tell Vince that Kofi has been grinding for 11 years and he deserves better, and more importantly, he deserves a shot at the WWE title. Vince retorts by stating that he's not owed a damn thing, and that no one, including him, deserves anything. He may have created Raw and Smackdown and Mania, but he still doesn't deserve anything. Xavier and E start in about this being bigger than New Day, and even bigger than Vince's ego, to which Vince hilariously (and surprisingly honestly) shoots back that nothing is bigger than his ego. Vince goes on to say that he's been a good worker for WWE, but if he had deserved a title shot, he would have gotten one by now, and he hasn't. And now that he's with New Day, he can let the "young bucks" do all the work, and Kofi can share in their glory. Vince might be a fan of all the crazy things he does in the ring and at the various Rumbles, but when he was talking with Daniel Bryan, he felt that Bryan hit the nail on the head when he said that Kofi isn't anything more than a B-plus player. Now Kofi jumps in to stop the other New Day members from doing or saying anything they might regret, and he tells Vince that he's never complained about anything and he loves being in the WWE and he's been blessed to have the life and career he's had, but because of this career, he's missed out on some really important moments with his family because he's been here all the time. Kofi gets fired up and straight up asks Vince what he has to do to prove he's worthy of this shot. And then Orton's music hits. Vince tells him all he has to do to get what he wants at Mania is to beat this man. Then Joe's music hits, and he adds that he has to beat this man as well. Then The Bar's music hits and he has to beat these men as well, and finally Rowan's music hits and he has to beat this man as well. So Kofi has to run a gauntlet match next week against all of them and if he comes out on top, he'll face Daniel Bryan for the WWE title at Mania. New Day get very angry and the heels rush the ring; New Day fights them all off, and Kofi hits Cesaro with Trouble in Paradise to close out the show.
Yes to all of this. Again, I know it's a similar story to Becky's path to Mania, but this actually makes more sense because Kofi technically hasn't done anything other than get a few non-title pins on Bryan. Putting him through this gauntlet makes him the super-underdog, and that's what we really want going into Mania; give us clear-cut asshole heels vs underdog babyfaces. This is why Roman vs Brock hasn't really ever worked because you can't make Roman the underdog when he's The Big Dog, and alternately, this is why Seth vs Brock will work. It's why Becky vs Charlotte vs Ronda will work. And it's why Kofi vs Bryan will work. And New Day not doing any of their traditional shtick worked wonders for this segment and their earlier run-in. These guys are laser-focused, they're behind Kofi all the way and they're done playing games watching their brother get fucked out of every opportunity. And this is a great case of WWE really striking while the iron is hot, because let's face it, Kofi is only in this spot because of Mustafa's very ill-timed injury. I only hope that when the time comes, WWE does right by Ali as well, because this might not have been the story they would have told with him, but I feel that he should get a legit shot at a title at Mania, and it should be against Joe.
And if you're looking for just one reason why this episode of Smackdown was better than Raw this week? No fucking Lacey Evans appearances.
And yes, something I noticed quite keenly this week is that we're in a very weird Upside-Down version of WWE where we have a heel Shane and a babyface Miz, a heel Batista and a babyface HHH, and all of it topped off by a heel Daniel Bryan, a newly-minted heel Ronda Rousey, and despite him being a huge babyface, everyone hates Mustafa Ali because he got the spot that everyone wanted Kofi to have.
Well, that's it for this week in Raw and Smackdown! Don't forget to be on the lookout late tomorrow night or early Thursday morning for my recap of NXT, and we'll see if they decide to do anything different in the wake of Ciampa's injury. We'll see!
Until next time, kids...
We started with SIERRA HOTEL INDIA ECHO LIMA DELTA making their standard through-the-crowd entrance (and apparently sporting some new merch, if my eyes aren't deceiving me) and Roman gets on the mic and thanks his brothers for giving him this opportunity to have one more ride as a member of The Shield, but he's got business to take care of since he hasn't been in a one-on-one match in five months, and Dean's got business to attend to (because they can't just say he's leaving), and most importantly, Seth's got business of his own. They all hug it out and leave Seth in the ring to cut a promo on how he's going to be facing Brock Lesnar in 27 days for the Universal title, but is almost immediately interrupted by Paul Heyman. Heyman gives his usual shtick and Seth interrupts him this time around and explains how Brock has been dominant over guys like Big Show, Strowman, and Goldberg. But then he says that Brock has traditionally had problems with guys like Daniel Bryan, A.J. Styles, and Finn Balor, basically stating that Brock always underestimates the smaller guys, and that a guy with Seth's speed and agility and skill will be the one who slays The Beast at Mania. Heyman makes excuses for his client by saying that he had next to no time to prepare for any of those other competitors before he faced them. He shows a video package about how dominant Lesnar is but Seth is still confident, and then suddenly, Shelton Benjamin attacks Seth from behind and suplexes him three times. Paul walks away looking satisfied, and Benjamin stands tall as we go to commercial. The "farewell address" from The Shield was very short and I don't know if it really gave the audience the measure of satisfaction they might have been looking for, but I guess it's more about leaving the door open for a possible reunion later down the years (or months, if the rumors about Dean possibly staying keep making the rounds) rather than closing the book completely. But the dueling promos is something that both Seth and Paul are really good at, and tonight was no exception. However, as far as Shelton Benjamin is concerned... well, we'll get into that next because during the commercial break, a match was made between Seth and Shelton.
So Heyman joins the commentary team while Rollins and Benjamin square off. The match itself is pretty sedate because A: Shelton Benjamin isn't really a particularly electrifying competitor anymore and B: the clear focus was on Heyman being on commentary. He verbally sparred with Cole and Renee, and Graves was his usual sycophantic self when it comes to heels appearing on commentary. He criticized the "sub-standard" video package that WWE put together for his client, and received a "call" from Lesnar while he was on commentary and said that Lesnar would be on Raw next week to address the WWE Universe. He also explained that Benjamin came out because he's a former college chum of Lesnar's as well as being a trainer to him in WWE, but most specifically, as it was revealed, that Paul paid Shelton just for the attack, but not to have the impromptu match. So at least we found out why Benjamin came over from Smackdown to Raw for this sneak attack. Anyway, Seth won the match with The Stomp or The Blackout or whatever we're calling it this week. Again, the focus was to make Seth look strong enough to take down a bigger competitor, and to make sure that Heyman got in all the storyline stuff. It worked in both respects, but the crowd wasn't very much there for it.
But while Seth was heading down, my man Finn came down to defend his IC title against Bobby Lashley in one-on-one competition.
Well, that was... something. I'm trying something a little different this week when it comes to my recaps because as we're really on the Road to Wrestlemania, the main roster is going to be a lot more about the promos and the story rather than the quality of the matches. The matches probably aren't going to be particularly hard-hitting just to err on the side of caution. Anyway, so thanks to a distraction by the not-dead-or-permanently-crippled Lio Rush, Finn got speared out of his kickpads and Bobby Lashley "reclaimed" the Intercontinental Championship. Now, I had absolutely no real interest in seeing a rematch at Mania between Finn and Lashley, but the only good thing to come out of this is that we're about to get the most epic version of The Demon King entrance at Mania when he eventually gets his rematch. I don't know what kinds of hoops he's going to have to go through to get it, but if I'm booking this, we don't get Finn on TV for the next two weeks, and then that week, we get Lashley and Rush cutting a promo saying that they're not going to give Finn a shot at a rematch, and then the lights go out, and when they come back up, The Demon King is behind them and just fucking wrecks them. This is the kind of thing that would drive the story forward, guaranteeing that Lashley would want to take on The Demon King out of sheer pride, and then Finn picks up the win at Mania and we get that pop that he deserves. But in all likelihood, we're going to see something like that next week. So it's what it is. They can either do right by Finn and the fans, or they can waste an opportunity that practically writes itself.
Then we got Charly interviewing Baron Corbin about his comments regarding Roman's departure and how he hoped that he stayed gone. And Corbin, who backtracked those comments before, now doubles down on them and says that he's not there to be nice and make friends, and he thinks that he's the one who's been carrying Raw and tonight, he's going to "house train" the Big Dog. You know, Corbin does get heat, but it's not "go away" heat. He's actually a pretty good shitheel character.
Then we get the big story of this past week in Ronda Rousey's heel turn as she comes out to the ring. She tells the audience, who is essentially nothing but boos, that she can take their "applause" and shove it. She goes on a tirade about how Becky sucks, Charlotte sucks, and the fans are just "bandwagon bitches", and she's going to go on to desecrate the sanctuary of WWE, and calls them a bunch of "carny con artists", and the fans are lucky to be behind barricades or else she'd come out to kick their asses as well. But she's ready to compete at Mania. They can make it a handicap match against her if they want to and she wouldn't break a sweat. And she plans to keep holding the Raw Women's title.
Before we get to the next part of this, there's one thought that kept recurring in this promo: why does Ronda care about having a title and competing in this fraud of a sport if, as she's said before, she's rich enough to not care about having to work there? And if her true motivation is to desecrate the WWE, why is she not drawing on the title belt with crayon or spray paint, or melting it down for scrap? Why is she still wearing her merch? I think I've come to the conclusion about something an idea I was wrestling with (pun still intended) from last week's episode whether this heel turn was inspired genius or absolute stupidity, and I think, as of this week, I'm in the "absolute stupidity" camp. It's just one of those out-of-nowhere things that WWE does in order to heat up a feud that didn't need any extra heat at all. In fact, I think in all seriousness that this story could use some cooling down. I'm glad neither Becky or Charlotte came out, and I'm hoping that Becky will stay off TV for a week or so. There are now so many moving parts to this story and the characters in them that it's getting unnecessarily complicated, and I'm deathly afraid that this whole match, which could be one of the best things to happen at a Wrestlemania ever, is getting a little dull, and the more they keep throwing at us about it, the less special it will feel when it finally gets here.
Anyway, out of the back comes, of all people, Dana Brooke (who has maybe had some work done?), and she's had enough of Ronda being so disrespectful to WWE, the fans and the locker room. She wants to prove that she still belongs here because she never gets any TV time, let alone a match, and she wants Ronda's post-PPV open challenge for the title, but before any bell rings, Ronda just beats the living shit out of Dana, hits her with Piper's Pit (poor Roddy is rolling in his grave right now) and is about to put her in an armbar, but she yells that if you want to see it, you have to pay the $60 for the PPV charges (umm... Ronda? The WWE Network is only $9.99 a month). She decks a ref and gets out but not before almost forgetting her jacket and her title. I'm so glad that I can hate Ronda now. This might be the version of her I've always wanted, but it's certainly not the way I wanted it.
Then we get a quick recap of the last two weeks regarding the rivalry between Batista and Triple H, and then we get Aleister Black's entrance. He's joined by Ricochet to compete in a tag match against Gable and Roode. I have to admit that seeing a singles match between Gable and Ricochet would be pretty cool, and I also have to admit that Roode and Gable's double-team Blockbuster/Northern Lights Suplex pinning combo is pretty fucking slick. But Ricochet would hit something akin to a GTS, but it was Aleister hitting an incredibly beautiful Black Mass on Roode for the win. On their way out, The Revival attack the babyfaces from behind. I'm not sure exactly what match this is building to since they just had a triple-threat tag match for the Raw tag titles, but I also don't think that it should be The Revival vs Aleister and Ricochet at Mania either, because I'd much rather have them retain, and I don't want the NXT call-ups to be handed their first loss at Mania, and even moreso, I don't want Aleister and Ric to remain a tag team. So this one's still a little vague right now.
Then we get A Moment of Bliss where Alexa comes out to introduce the host of Wrestlemania this year. She says it's someone cooler than Kim Kardashian, more electrifying than The Rock and has more power of positivity than The New Day, and the host is... Alexa Bliss. Hey, I'm all for this. If she still can't work in the ring right now (which I don't know if that has anything to do with her screwing up Ember Moon's arm and putting her on the shelf at the Rumble), no one can say that she wouldn't kill it on the mic, so I'm looking forward to that.
Then we get a quick reminder of Michael Che and Colin Jost from last week with a video package that is filled with canned cheers and laughter, and a reminder of what Braun did to Jost. When asked about it this week, Braun says that was fun for him, and then he is told that his car is here, which is a brand-new Camaro and it's apparently a gift from Colin Jost. He throws in a little jab about Strowman wrecking Vince's limo, and then Braun starts tearing the car apart. I'm not sure what this is working towards either, because it seems like Braun again doesn't have a match for Mania. And if he's just going to run around the place trying to kill Jost, that's going to be pretty unfortunate for Braun.
Next up is Elias, who is trying to get heat in his own hometown of Pittsburgh, and he fails at first, but finally hits that sweet spot when he mentions Antonio Brown. But then he's interrupted by No Way Jose, who is sporting the weirdest fucking hair I think I've ever seen on a man, and his conga line, and Elias beats the hell out of him and hits Drift Away on Jose on the steel portion of the entrance ramp. So that's another thing that seems to be waning, and that's interest in Elias. I think that he's found a good groove for himself as a fun heel who is great at getting that cheap heat, but I don't think he's really ever found a groove as an in-ring competitor. I don't know who he has to have a match against to get over as a competitor, but it would have to be someone big at this point.
And then we get the announcement that Harlem Heat is going to be inducted into the HOF this year, making Booker T another two-time HOF'er. So that's pretty cool.
And then Lacey Fucking Evans comes out and throws some non-verbal shade at Renee, and then heads on back, but Nia Jax and Tamina are there as well. You'd think that Lacey or Nia or Tamina would do something but nothing happens as Lacey just heads to the back, because Nia is going to have a match with Natalya due to the fallout of Backlash when they beat down Beth Phoenix. Nattie stands on the stage, wondering who's got her back now since Ronda has kicked everyone to the curb, and she knows only one person she can depend on, and Beth comes out, looking just ripped as hell. Nattie and Nia have a very brief in-ring exchange until Beth comes into the ring once again and attacks Nia, but as opposed to last night, it's Nattie and Beth who are standing tall at the end of the exchange. So this is a match that's definitely happening at Mania. I don't know who wants to really see this match, but it's going to happen, so we better be ready for it.
And then we have Batista showing up, flanked by 10 security guards, and since he's heading in, Triple H heads to the ring in his biker gear. Man, I love Batista's jacket. Anyway, he comes on the stage with his security and stands there for a while. Hunter asks if he's going to stand there "like a nose-ring model" or if he's going to get into the ring. Batista says that he's not there to fight now, and his security is there to protect him because he's learned all about fighting dirty from the likes of Hunter and Ric Flair. Dave is clearly happy to be back as he soaks in the heat from the audience. He then starts telling HHH to give him what he wants. Trips says he's not getting anything but the beating he deserves, and then Batista goes full Animal as he screams and slobbers at Hunter to give him what he wants. Hunter, after referring to his security as "Guardians of the Independent Scene", finally asks what he wants, and Batista tells him that he wants to have the match he's always wanted, which is the two of them at Mania. Trips makes the match at Mania, but he tells him to dig deep to find whatever might be left of The Animal, because he's making it a No Holds Barred match. This is good stuff. Let it never be said that the two of these guys can't get you going and get you excited. This might not be the greatest match ever, but it should be pretty fun.
Then we get Kurt Angle, also a hometown boy, coming out to tell us that his final match will be at Mania. He doesn't have an opponent yet, but that's going to be it for him and he thanks the WWE Universe and his hometown fans. As you know already, I'm going to be very glad when Kurt truly retires. I'm tired of feeling sad every time I watch him compete. But he says he wants to have one final match in his hometown and Apollo Crews comes out to face him and it's easy to understand why. Whenever Angle hits Crews with a suplex, you can see that Crews knows how to build the momentum to get over Kurt's head for the landing so that Kurt isn't always landing on the back of his skull. Angle Slam for the win, and I'm interested to find out who Kurt will face in his final match. Cena seems like the most obvious choice, but since Samoa Joe used Cena's name last week in his US title post-win interview, it seems like Cena would be a more appropriate competitor for Joe, although I'm thinking it should be Mustafa Ali vs Joe and Cena vs Angle.
Then we get Roman coming out for his match against Corbin, but after he gets in the ring, he's brutally ambushed by Drew McIntyre. He really fucks him up with two Claymores, the last one kicking him right into the ringpost. The medics come down to check on him, and so does Seth. Seth and Dean help Roman into the trainer's office to get checked out, and Dean makes a beeline for Trips because he is righteously furious. He demands a match with Drew right here and now, and he wants it No DQ and Falls Count Anywhere. Trips gives him what he wants, and the match is ready to go as Dean's entrance music hits and he heads to the ring with white-hot intensity. Drew comes out to the stage and asks if this is what Dean truly wants, and Dean charges at him on the stage and the match starts.
While watching this match, I got a feeling that this was much more akin to the match that Dean wanted against Brock back at Mania 32. It was ferocity, it was unhinged and it was just phenomenally fun to watch. Dean was ragdolled into the stadium wall; Dean bit down on Drew's fingers, they fought out at concessions during the commercial break, Drew slammed Dean's head into the steel ring steps twice, Dean put Drew on a ride on some rolling road cases, they exchanged low blows, fought on the announce table (Renee, you could have totally hit Drew with your chair! That's your man up there!), Drew stabbed Dean in the eye with a fucking pencil (and I couldn't help but think of Heath Ledger's Joker), Drew threw Dean into the LED board on the stage, trapped him in a small metal staircase railing and hit a Claymore that finally put Dean down for the pinfall. Dean got up and wanted more and Drew treated him to another Claymore. This was just awesome. And the table is essentially set for a Roman vs Drew match at Mania, and that should be a really good match. Drew is an incredibly talented all-around performer; he's good on the mic and he's great in the ring, and he should absolutely be at the top of the card. So what if he eats the pinfall at Mania to Roman? He'll be in contention for the Universal title soon enough once Seth wins it off Lesnar. But seriously, this match and the advancing of a few key storylines made this a pretty decent overall episode of Raw. I'm not totally hyped about every match, but at least a lot of the pieces are forming.
Now onto Smackdown!
The show opened with Shane O'Mac feeling decidedly heelish as he comes into the ring with his Best in the World trophy, and the ring announcer announces him as normal. Shane soaks up some boos, grabs the announcer, and tells him to do his intro better. He tries again, but it's still not enough for Shane, and he grabs him again, and once more with feeling, the announcer gets it to Shane's satisfaction. He then starts to go on about why he did what he did at Fastlane to Miz and Mr. Miz, and it's because he's sick and tired of everyone, from the locker room to the boardroom to the fans coming up to him asking what he can do for them, and he's decided that he's going to start doing things for himself. And this moment of liberation came when he was beating down Miz and his "potato-faced" father. And since there are perks to being the boss's son, he knows that Miz is still recuperating from the beatdown, and he's decided to make a match against Miz at Mania. This is coming together shockingly well, because it's the story I really wanted to see. Miz turning heel on Shane is so simple to do, and Shane doing the heel turn is a much more compelling story. I want to see Shane go uber-heel though. I want to see him conspiring with Daddy to fuck over other competitors, but not so much to emulate Baron Corbin's shenanigans when he was "General Manager Elect" on Raw.
Then we get an 8-man tag match between Aleister Black, Ricochet, and the Hardys vs The Bar, Shinsuke Nakamura and Rusev. At this point, and even I'm having a hard time admitting this, but I'm starting to really think that Aleister and Ricochet are getting a little too over-saturated. I know that the truly unfortunate situation with Tommaso Ciampa has put a huge monkey wrench in the works because he and Johnny Gargano were supposed to be working these shows as well, and maybe at a certain point, they would split the two teams up and have one on SD and the other on Raw. I know that I shouldn't be complaining about too much of a good thing, but I don't want all the cool elements of Black and Ricochet to be wasted on what seems like a short-term story, especially on Smackdown, because they're already in the thick of it as far as the Raw tag titles are concerned, so to keep showcasing them on this show while they have a story with actual stakes on Monday nights, they might want to keep them on one or the other. Personally, I'm hoping for Ricochet to go to Raw, because they could use a really solid high-flyer, and Aleister to go to Smackdown in order for him to have some striking matches with people like Orton, Nakamura, Joe, et. al. As far as this match is concerned, though, again I'm having my usual issues with multi-person tag matches because it's just too damn many people in the ring. But the Hardys looked better than they have in a while, and I liked the ending with The New Day coming in and laying waste to the heels causing the DQ, because those guys are pissed, and for good reason. And we'll get into more of that later.
Then backstage, we get The Usos and they're pumped for New Day, but they're also naming off all the other tag teams on Smackdown and they wonder who's going to step up to them for the title, because they've got the Smackdown Tag scene on lockdown. I always enjoy seeing this darker, more fired-up side of The Usos. It's good stuff.
Then Randy Orton comes out, and frankly, I'm still surprised he gets pops. But this episode makes a stronger case for why people appreciate him. He's full of bluster as he wonders why A.J. calls this the house that he built, because in 2002, when A.J. was getting $10 per appearance, he was making his WWE debut. When Styles was doing bingo halls in 2004, Randy was becoming the youngest WWE champion. When A.J. was getting a tan with Dixie Carter (that's actually a pretty good burn) in 2005, he was having Mania matches against The Undertaker and he's been here the whole time and is a 13-time WWE champ. Randy says that this is the house that he built. A.J. comes out and says for someone who doesn't think much of him, he's sure followed his career. A.J. is proud to have come from the indies and how a guy like Orton was made for WWE because he could have never made it in the indies with his pose and a knock-off diamond cutter. Randy retorts about knock-offs with the Too Sweet gesture. A.J. then runs down the reasons that Randy's remained relevant and successful, because he hangs with groups of people like Evolution, The Legacy, Rated RKO and the Wyatt Family, so it seems like Randy's had a lot of "babysitters" over the years. Randy fires back that this is really the house he built, and A.J. is just renting a room there and the rent's come due. A.J. tells him that if he wants his rent, and as he points to the Wrestlemania sign, he tells Randy that he can get it there. This was a fantastic promo from both guys who, historically, aren't great with promos. They were fierce, and most importantly of all, they told a really old-school Booking 101 story. Randy says he made Smackdown what it is, and A.J. says he's making Smackdown what it is. It's old-school vs new-school for who can lay claim to who really runs the show, and I gotta say, this is the kind of promo that gets you pumped for seeing this match at Mania. And it's more in line with the kind of match that A.J. should have this year, facing off against someone who is a WWE lifer.
Next up is Asuka who is taking on Sonya Deville with Mandy Rose at ringside. This was another unspectacular match, but at least it painted a clearer picture of what's in line for Mania and these women. Mandy "inadvertently"cost Sonya the match when she yanked on the ring apron cover and tripped up Deville, who then got put into the Asuka Lock and had to tap. As Sonya and Mandy made their way backstage, it was clear that the groundwork they started to lay for their fracturing at Fastlane is continuing, and I'm going to go ahead and call it now that it's going to be a triple threat at Mania with Asuka, Mandy and Sonya for the Smackdown Women's title. If you're not going to have a good match, at least tell me a good story, and I'll be happy. Although I would have been a little happier if Graves could shut up for a full five seconds when Mandy is around.
Then we got a quick video of The IIconics calling out The Boss 'N Hug Connection and wondering why they haven't been around to allow them to challenge for the Women's tag belts. This was the funniest bit that these two have done in a long time. I loved this promo, despite it being pre-taped. It played up their cattiness and it just made me laugh. I'm pretty sure this is going to be the Women's Tag title match at Mania. See? Things are definitely becoming easier to book as the date gets closer.
Then we get The Man coming around, and she comes out with her crutch, and quickly casts it aside and walks somewhat gingerly (no pun intended) to the ring. She talks about how everyone suddenly got really brave when she was suspended and then arrested and then unsuspended and so on. She also talks about how she is going to be in the main event at Mania, and how she's had to earn her way into it twice; once at the Rumble and this past Sunday at Fastlane, and she loves how that particular match shaped up because she's so far in Ronnie's head that she effectively did Becky's bidding without her knowing it, but then she asks how does someone play mind games with someone without a brain (something she tweeted as well, although accompanied by a hilarious picture) and calls Ronda a "little weirdo" but also goes on to say that she's going to take Ronda's title and rip her arm off. But Charlotte comes out to interrupt, fake-congratulating Becky on her win at Fastlane. She then goes on to say that while Becky's been away, Charlotte has been the one putting in the work (although I can't remember the last time Charlotte competed on Smackdown), and how it's different for someone who's only been hot for six months as opposed to someone like her who's been hot for four years. She then claims that the only reason Becky has fans is because they're all sorry for her, and Becky simply says, "Shut your face, you dope. You plastic-faced dope" and I howled with laughter. Becky went on to say that while Charlotte was on top, she did nothing with what she had, and now that The Man is here, she's the one everyone's talking about and the reason that they're main-eventing Mania. This is literally the only thing I want from Becky for the next few weeks. She can dine out on this promo for a week or so, do some Twitter stuff, and then come back, fully recovered, and lay waste to a bunch of heels or just Charlotte or whatever. Just when I thought I was cooling on this feud, they heated it right back up. What can I say? Becky gets to me when she's cutting her promos.
Then we have Kayla backstage outside Vince's office, and she catches Daniel Bryan and Rowan coming out, and she asks what he was discussing with Vince. Daniel says that it was a private conversation, but he did have things to say about Kofi Kingston and about how he was forced into a triple threat at Fastlane and still retained his title because he's not just the WWE Champion but the Planet's Champion. He says that he and Rowan are going to have a tag match tonight, and leaves.
Then we get another tag match with R-Truth and Rey Mysterio vs Samoa Joe and Andrade. This was a pretty standard match for these guys; Joe looked pretty dominant, Rey and Andrade had the cool spots and Truth kept doing his Cena impression. It was totally fine, and it was Rey who rolled up Joe for the win. He got the hell out of the ring, but Joe then laid waste with massive uranages to both Truth and Andrade. There are very few things that are more frightening than an angry Joe. And it's with that win that seems to have put Rey closest to being the one who would take on Joe for the US title at Mania, but if he and Andrade are going to have a match, I don't want it to turn into another triple threat title match, because we're going to have a few of those already.
Then comes Kevin Owens and Mustafa Ali to take on D-Bry and Rowan. This match should have been more of a comeback party for Ali, but the real story on display here is how fucking dangerous Rowan is. Sure he can't do much in the way of traditional wrestling, but he can be a solid monster for the smaller Daniel. Most of this match was Ali getting beaten to a pulp, and just when it seemed he could turn it around, Rowan hit him with what is now known as The Iron Claw for the pin. So yeah, I buy Rowan as a very destructive force in Daniel's corner. Again, not a great match, but it told a story. Although the one thing about this match that is still a little too opaque for my liking is what opportunities, if any, KO and Ali will get at Mania.
Then Vince comes out and talks about how he's going to give everyone what they want by giving Kofi an opportunity at Wrestlemania, and then he discussed what happened with Kofi at Fastlane. He said that he was going to give him a triple threat and he did; it just wasn't what Kofi or any of the fans wanted. He says that people only hear what they want to hear (this should be a big hint on what he just said about giving Kofi an opportunity at Mania), and he's all about giving "teachable" moments. The New Day interrupt and tell Vince that they don't want him to teach them a damn thing. Kofi stands silently while Xavier and Big E tell Vince that Kofi has been grinding for 11 years and he deserves better, and more importantly, he deserves a shot at the WWE title. Vince retorts by stating that he's not owed a damn thing, and that no one, including him, deserves anything. He may have created Raw and Smackdown and Mania, but he still doesn't deserve anything. Xavier and E start in about this being bigger than New Day, and even bigger than Vince's ego, to which Vince hilariously (and surprisingly honestly) shoots back that nothing is bigger than his ego. Vince goes on to say that he's been a good worker for WWE, but if he had deserved a title shot, he would have gotten one by now, and he hasn't. And now that he's with New Day, he can let the "young bucks" do all the work, and Kofi can share in their glory. Vince might be a fan of all the crazy things he does in the ring and at the various Rumbles, but when he was talking with Daniel Bryan, he felt that Bryan hit the nail on the head when he said that Kofi isn't anything more than a B-plus player. Now Kofi jumps in to stop the other New Day members from doing or saying anything they might regret, and he tells Vince that he's never complained about anything and he loves being in the WWE and he's been blessed to have the life and career he's had, but because of this career, he's missed out on some really important moments with his family because he's been here all the time. Kofi gets fired up and straight up asks Vince what he has to do to prove he's worthy of this shot. And then Orton's music hits. Vince tells him all he has to do to get what he wants at Mania is to beat this man. Then Joe's music hits, and he adds that he has to beat this man as well. Then The Bar's music hits and he has to beat these men as well, and finally Rowan's music hits and he has to beat this man as well. So Kofi has to run a gauntlet match next week against all of them and if he comes out on top, he'll face Daniel Bryan for the WWE title at Mania. New Day get very angry and the heels rush the ring; New Day fights them all off, and Kofi hits Cesaro with Trouble in Paradise to close out the show.
Yes to all of this. Again, I know it's a similar story to Becky's path to Mania, but this actually makes more sense because Kofi technically hasn't done anything other than get a few non-title pins on Bryan. Putting him through this gauntlet makes him the super-underdog, and that's what we really want going into Mania; give us clear-cut asshole heels vs underdog babyfaces. This is why Roman vs Brock hasn't really ever worked because you can't make Roman the underdog when he's The Big Dog, and alternately, this is why Seth vs Brock will work. It's why Becky vs Charlotte vs Ronda will work. And it's why Kofi vs Bryan will work. And New Day not doing any of their traditional shtick worked wonders for this segment and their earlier run-in. These guys are laser-focused, they're behind Kofi all the way and they're done playing games watching their brother get fucked out of every opportunity. And this is a great case of WWE really striking while the iron is hot, because let's face it, Kofi is only in this spot because of Mustafa's very ill-timed injury. I only hope that when the time comes, WWE does right by Ali as well, because this might not have been the story they would have told with him, but I feel that he should get a legit shot at a title at Mania, and it should be against Joe.
And if you're looking for just one reason why this episode of Smackdown was better than Raw this week? No fucking Lacey Evans appearances.
And yes, something I noticed quite keenly this week is that we're in a very weird Upside-Down version of WWE where we have a heel Shane and a babyface Miz, a heel Batista and a babyface HHH, and all of it topped off by a heel Daniel Bryan, a newly-minted heel Ronda Rousey, and despite him being a huge babyface, everyone hates Mustafa Ali because he got the spot that everyone wanted Kofi to have.
Well, that's it for this week in Raw and Smackdown! Don't forget to be on the lookout late tomorrow night or early Thursday morning for my recap of NXT, and we'll see if they decide to do anything different in the wake of Ciampa's injury. We'll see!
Until next time, kids...
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